Marriage: an outdated institution?

MARRIAGE:

                        How many of you have been in this situation, you are attending a relative's marriage and you sense two pairs of wrinkled eyes staring at you. Though you don't know what they are mumbling to each other, you still know that their topic of you interest is you. Then they will invariably ask you ' Are you married?'. Now that you know the situation being referred  to you must be a smile or a frown. Amidst all these, there are so many questions unanswered. Why does one have to marry? Is marriage the answer to everything? If your marriage is not working so divorce the easy way out? Are extra marital affairs inevitable? Your mind can play games if you let it wander, so give it a rest and explore the institution called marriage.

             First and foremost why and how did the concept of marriage emerge? If we look into the history ' in Vedic period and Indus valley civilazation the concept of famil existed. However in pre-historic times there was no concept of marriage, but much later the idea of security led to development of community. Gradually, it evolved into marriage guided by religion and philosophy' says Ramesh Dhungel, Cultural and History Expert at Research Centre for Nepal and Asian Studies, Tribhuvan University. He is also a member at High Level State Restructuring Commission. The topic of marriage is often of interest to many and not everyone has the same view. There are various versions of it. A couple married for 30 years who choose to remain anonymous, believes that marriage is a must. According to them there are several reasons such as ' to run a family, for social security, prestige, religious aspect and to procreate'. So it doesn't matter whether the couple is in love or not? More than love, marriage is based on understanding of the two individuals and when they stay together, understanding becomes stronger and love comes along' answers the husband. It looks like marriage is must to continue one's lineage and security. Perhaps, that's the reason coaxing a person especially a woman to get married after a certain age spreads like a virus. But does that imply that a single person remains unhappy? Most of people says just waiting for the 'right person' in life to marry, then isn't means that just a utopian aspect? However, marriage was created to maintain discipline in society, as per Dhungel.

                  What if a person gets married and has extra marital affairs? What is the point of marrying then? Extra marital affairs are created by situation and age but it's not permanent and it should not affect the marriage. 92% of the people both men and women have indulged in extra marital affairs. Then how can he/she trust the person in marriage life? And it comes complains each other and marriage life then some of questions come to live-in-relationship instead of marriage. If two people love each other committed and without  any lies in the relationship are happy. What is wrong with that? even Dhungel adds if live-in-relationship increasse then there will be less marital affairs. There are cases of extra marital affairs but due to scocietal pressure people choose to keep mum and deal with it. Which will give another aspect: Divorce comes into scene. At one hand where people remain silent about extra marital affairs, others cannot tolerate it and seek divorce. There are many cases where people want divorce in extra marital affairs being the cause. but here woman who face domestic violence are the people who seek for divorce.

            In addition, Dhungel predicts that divorce rate will drastically increase ' after 10 to 20 years  the scenario will be completely different. There will be more live-in-relations. It exist even today but due to lack of legal provision it is not out in the open. Irony is a part of life and marriage isn't spared. The concept of marriage was created for the sense of security and dependency to an extent, but given the entire situation, is the instution of marriage dying? At present the concept of marriage is in a state of confusion with influence of Eurocentric modernity. So, the institution of marriage is under severe challenge as it's in a transition form. It cannot be avoided and society has to deal with it.